How to stop cutting help?

hi i am a sweet girl i am in high school i was really bullied really badly when i was little i am really short and sometimes i still get bullied my mom yells at me about my weight i wont2 die last week i start cutting not 2 long a go i have a disability no1 know i cut my self i hate when people tell me i need help or that i am craze and i was Sexual assaults when i was in 3 grade some told my mom that i made them do it and i did not it made me and my mom hard 2 get along i get mistreated mistaken when i ask 4 some1 help they don't believe me i cut so small i wont2 be a singer/actress but been told i am not that good i cant hold on 2 me i wont2 die but so bad but 2 scared 2 i just start cutting with a reazor i am so scared i do thing with out thinking people call me there little angel because i am so sweet i have no1 2 talk 2 my so call friends never text me or ask me 2 hang out just 1 time i would be JR and 18teen soon so should i tell my mom that i am cutting when i am 18ten because she cant do anything every dream i have i feel like it would not come true i am so sick of being sad alone i may seem happy okay mabe a little but i am not i am going 2 be a leader 4 a speical ed camp 4 kids like me it made me happy they say i did better then the pay leader i have freckles and green eyes mixed with bule in them i get call ugly stuipd girl reatred i wont 2 die when some1 say i need help it make me wont 2 more as weird as that sound i know i can i have stop cutting i list 2 music when i feel like comited suicde you know when you overdose you get dizzy ? will i spend my self around when i feel like overdose or wright song and sing them but i still feel like dieing and cutting my famliy yells at me about my weight so i stop eating 4 an hour then eat agin so i would not be anerxice i feel like my dreams are important to help out other like me i cant see a coualser i am scared that she will tell my mom it just me and my mom but she make me feel worthless when she get made at me she call me worthless paice of sh** i get scared she is a good mom but i am so stress out so is she i know she act like i don't help out around i do talk 2 God he help me when i need 2 feel peace but i wont 2 die should i tell my mom how i feel ?i know i am sick Thank ya"ll 4 your help God bless :)