Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Help me please me how 2 stop wonted 2 cut my self ?

Hi i am a sweet girl with a disability i am in high school in the 10 grade since it almost summer lol i am a JR high school can be so mean okay i cut my self i am not proud of my self i feel so worthless my mom yells at me act like i don't help around i don't eye 2 eye with other people my so call friends never text me or call me in less i call them or text them they leave me out not all of my friends just some where i live i cant tell my mom that i cut she will think i am doing it 4 attention and i am not just a little i feel with so much hate i want 2 die but 2 scared 2 dose that make any sense ? i wont 2 be a singer/actress but some1 has 2 put me down and say that i would not make it i know i can sing sorry 4 the bad spelling i am in choirs i am seeing a therapist soon my mom dose not know i cut i take a Pinnacle down my wrists so the scars are not there i do have faith but i feel so alone scared i have try 2 kill my self my mom dose not know i did i am lucky 2 be alive i took strong pain killers i pray that it would go away and it did i am proud 2 say i don't cut i listing 2 music when i am upset or dance wright but i still feel like i wont 2 cut i have no1 2 talk 2 i don't even know why i go a ph1 i cry i feel sad i have anxiety i wont 2 committed suicide my mom yells at me about my weight so i have stop eating i have lost weight but i got scared that i might have anorexic so i start eating but i eat more of healthy food that i like i didn't think it would of have been addiction my teachers say that i might not be able 2 go 2 college so i brought up my grades i got a 3.09 and any Ward 4 it i feel like i am not important 2 my family or friends my family talk down 2 me so do other people they don't understand i am trying so hard 2 please every1 they only nice 2 me when they wont something i am so scared that i wont 2 die i get bullied i have freckles green eyes mixes with blue i do believe in God i could not walk or talk but i can now i don't look emo i never had a boyfriend but i don't care i will be famous soon if i live but i am just 2 scared and please don't say i am craze it run in the family lol i am always so sweet 2 people i just don't know what 2 do and i lie Alto i was Sexual assustl in the 3 grade and they said since i scream by 3 guys that they were going 2 tell every 1 that i made them do it and so some b******** told my mom that i made them do and i am so scared if i tell her what happened she will not believe she not a good person 2 talk i cant tell any1 at my school that i cut only 4 of my bffs know i cut my self so how can i tell some1 with out telling my mom =(

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