Antipsychotics ruined me?

ok about a year ago i was feeling like i was from a different planet or something. i was EXTREMELY creative and all i did was listen to music and drink tea. my weight dropped down to about 145 pounds. i know some people refer to this as mania, but in retrospect i think i had "found" myself. i started to "see things" and hear voices, which i think were supernatural. long story shirt i ended up in the hospital after running down the street thinking police were coming to get me. i was coerced into taking medication, they basically said i had to follow their rules to get out. i stopped taking the meds right after i got out. i'm so different from everyone, the people at the programs they were sending me to thought i was crazy and sent me back to the hospital. i took zyprexa for about 4 months and now i feel like a completely different person. i have no creativity. i no longer think outside the box. i catch myself forgetting things or doing stupid things. and everyone around me has noticed the change so they know somethings up. its very embarrassing for me. now i feel extremely self conscience. i used to have very high self esteem. i want to just move away so i stop running into people i know. any advice?