How to stop cutting your wrists?

hi when i was little i was bullied all of the time i am JR now since school is almost out my family and my mom yells at me about my weight so i stop eating then i eat again i don't eat 4 an hour i am losing weight i am walking eating healthy i am friends with this guy that i could not stand and now he stand up 4 me we have same class all of the time i am happy that we are friends i have disability and i have anxiety attack i get sick really easily i just start cutting my mom is hard 2 talk 2 she yells at me i have no idea what 2 do i just start cutting yesterday i do not wont 2 get worst then it is i see ghost my mom call me weird i am a sweet girl almost 18teen i wont 2 be a singer/actress but been told it would not come true but i am proud 2 say that my friend Jenna Rosa she famous is going 2 help me make a music video i took a razor bald . I have freckles i green eyes mixed with blue i don't look like a cutter i am so sick of wont 2 die but 2 scare 2 what should i do ? and i am going 2 be a leader 4 kid with disability like me i would not eat 4 a hour or so and i still get bullied when some1 say i am craze or stupid b*** my mom say that look i know she stress out but dose she need 2 take out on me i feel sick every day and i lie when i am telling the truth she dose not believe if she only know why i lie of and i was sexual assault in the 2 grade i still remember that they did not go in me the just touch me i am so mad it made my mom mad at me ;..(