Can I get some objective advice from an elder about work?

You sound like you are living a miserable life. You are not the first guy to ever experience this kind of thing. My own cousin had a powerful job, but was stressed beyond belief. He decided in order to save his own life, he would have to give it all up. He lived simply and worked low key jobs and lived life on many beaches of the world. He was calm and happy and never poor. Perhaps you would be happier if you changed your lifestyle.You can live on 50,000 and be happy, or make lots more and keep hiding out and keep lying for a living. From where I sit, it is a no brainer!